Fading Reservation

People have different opinions about blogs like this. Some don’t like them, some enjoy them. And most wonder why or how someone would write the things that yesterday’s post is made of. I appreciate these thoughts and questions as they continually bring me new challenges. Grey Matter + Stretching = Good.

This blog started in 2003 after I was accepted to the undergraduate creative non-fiction program where I went to college. I was never a non-fiction writer. I applied for a challenge, and a challenge was what I got.

All of my non-fiction pieces generally have the same tone: dry, fast and satirical. And while my workshop pieces were well-received, midway through, peers and professors continually critiqued that they weren’t getting enough of me. I had no idea how to give that and I wasn’t all that interested in it either. At that time, [all of three years ago...] blogs were still predominately written in a journalesque form, and I was encouraged by my professors to commit myself to a blog about me.

Authoring this blog has been one thing. Actually seeing people come to this blog–especially people that I know–has been something totally different. But a fellow blogger recently made this [fitting] statement about her own personal blog:

“Funny writing about it [life] on the Internet–I don’t mind. You know, because I can just omit all the real, real shit I don’t want you to know and I am safe in knowing that it is brought to you from the only perspective that matters here, which is mine.”

I’d say that aptly and succinctly sums up my feelings about what I put here. I sometimes think to myself, I bet people think they know everything about me. And then I laugh at these poor bastards because honey, most of the people who know me don’t know me.

It ain’t easy to publish a lot of these posts. But staying true to the challenge and to the experiment is important to me. I imagine there will come a day where I either write something that I can’t handle being seen by other people or that I don’t feel the nagging should I say this? upon pushing “publish”.

Either way it comes, that will be they day that I get what I wanted out of this particular blog and I imagine that will be the day Expo86 is put to rest. And then I suppose I’ll divulge the other blog URLs that are my playground when I’m not occupying my time here. Maybe.

Jam of the Day: She Wants Revenge, Tear You Apart
[i dig this video. sorta freaky, but hard to take your eyes off of.]