I spent a couple hours after work running errands, getting items at this place and that, etc.
At my last stop, one of those Get-All-Your-Shit-Here marts, I noticed a smirk slowly spread across the face of the cashier as he rang up my items. As I got out my bank card to pay, I noticed the girl behind me couldn’t stop staring at my items either.
Surely, I thought, they’ve seen a person buy condoms before.
It wasn’t until I got home and unpacked my bag from said mart that I noticed the anomalousness of the other items I purchased with the condoms:
3 bottles of Vitamin Water (buy two, get one free)
My cat’s favorite toy, affectionately labeled “The Feather Teaser”
1 Kashi Go Lean energy bar
Now if you’ll excuse me, the well-hydrated menagerie is waiting. (Turns head to left and vomits.)
[Jam of the Day]: Interpol, C’mere