The Divide

“Okay. We’re going to do it short and sweet.”

D and I are pre-planning our goodbye as I drive him to the airport this morning. It’s five after six, and the sun is so bright heading east that I can barely see my odometer creeping past 80.

“We’ll see each other soon,” he says.
I nod in agreement, but then reconsider: “I mean…not really.” He is moving to Brussels next week.
“‘Soon’ is a relative term,” he explains.

We have a relatively quiet drive, which allows for us both (I imagine) to feel the weight of Fruit Bats singing:

I’ll do my part/Not to break your heart/So baby, please don’t break mine
Cuz I adore you/And I know for sure/You’re the spark on the sun

I agree to a short goodbye, but as usual it’s hard to let go. As I steer the car west, now alone, I find myself trying to grab on to a linear model for coping, for crawling out of the chasm that comes with resuming every day life without my favorite person. Somehow everything I come up with seems wrong. Like a turned ankle in the eighth grade, this, I suspect, is just something I’ll have to walk off.

[Jam of the Day]: Fruit Bats, Earthquake of ’73


3 responses to “The Divide

  1. Few things are as uncomfortable as driving away from your favorite person while trying not to think about how much time must pass before you’re together again, especially if you’re not 100% certain it’s going to happen.

    I know the feeling well.

    If I ever meet the person who first coined “if you love something let it go…”, there’ll be blows.

  2. If I ever meet the person who first coined “if you love something let it go…”, there’ll be blows.

    I’m right there with you, anon. Between the two of us, it could be a mighty duel. We may even erradicate that cliché from the English language altogether.

  3. Wouldn’t that be nice. I’d offer a replacement: “If you love something, hang on like all hell.”

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