A friend of mine chatted me up today and mentioned that her company had a job opening for a technical writer for the government and asked if I’d be interested. I told her that I didn’t have any tech writing experience and it probably wasn’t my thing anyway, but to send it to me and I’d have a look.
I just opened it and discovered such intriguing words as, “security clearance,” “top secret,” “homeland security” and “cyber identity.”
There were also a lot of words like “deliverables,” “policies” “procedures” and stodgy words that make me want to dry heave, but I’m not gonna lie, it piqued my interest.
But then I’m fairly well-known for taking jobs just because I think they’ll be interesting. There was Student Health (which lasted for an amazingly interesting four and a half years), MCI (telemarketing, baby!), and that stint with the elderly hoarder who barely spoke English and wouldn’t let me throw anything away.
But anyway, I soon realized that a government job that required any sort of top secret goings-on meant that I’d have to wear uncomfortable clothes and whisper a lot instead of talking in an normal voice. I saw myself morph into a hideous version of myself with bad hair, bland skin and wearing lots of navy blue. And probably hose with bad shoes. And no job is that interesting.