A Neighborly Conundrum

I have a situation that needs handling, and I’d like to handle it in a democratic fashion.

The jist: I have a borderline stalker in my neighbor, whom, up until last week, I didn’t even know existed.

Then one night I had a knock on my door. At 9.30p. I put on a pair of heels with my sweatpants (peephole could stand to be lower, y’all), and saw some random guy out there staring at my door, hands in pockets, not fiddling around with a piece of my mail he received by accident or any of that stuff.

I haven’t answered the door to a stranger since I was a little kid (don’t ask my mother about the time someone came over to drop off a Christmas present so she could hand it off to my aunt. Mom: “Megan, why didn’t you answer the door when that lady came over?” Me: “I don’t open the door to strangers.” Mom: “Well, fine, but next time don’t stand in the front window and stare at them. They can see you, you know.”), and I’m not about to start now. And what guy in this day and age thinks it’s okay to approach a woman he doesn’t know at 9.30 at night? I don’t get it.

ANYWAY. It’s becoming too frequent for my tastes (last week three nights in a row and again last night). And now he’s leaving notes. When I opened my apartment door a piece of paper fell out that read:

“Hello! I just stopped by to see what you were up to. Francisco #318”

I find it no small coincidence that the guy I had a restraining order against in college had the same name.

I’d like this behavior to stop (especially the door knocking) ASAP. Which brings us to my options:

1. Continue to ignore it.
2. Open the door and tell him to go away.
3. Leave a note in his door stating, yeah…I’m really not interested in what you’re sellin’.

Vote your little hearts out in the comments…anonymously if you so wish. 🙂


13 responses to “A Neighborly Conundrum

  1. Wow… that’s a good one. I’d say you need to establish that you don’t want the crap to continue, so I’d say open the door and tell him to go away, but only if you have something to keep him from “inviting himself in” so to speak… like a chain or a pitbull.

    Wanna borrow Buster?

  2. Yeah, see that’s the problem…no chain on the door.

    I’d definitely borrow Buster…so long as you could guarantee that he wasn’t gonna love the guy to death instead. 🙂

  3. Freakish…don’t open the door who knows what kind of freak he is. What you need is someone to be home with you when he knocks but that’s kind of hard when he just randomly stops by….hmmmm. Maybe leave a note but who knows maybe that would make him more interested in the “chase.” I say dont open it, way to wierd, does he think that OK to just knock at your door…well obviously he does so he is not down with social norms of society and therefore a loser. Thats my two-cents for what they are worth. 🙂

  4. Rae, somehow I feel like if we were still roomies, we’d have this problem solved in no time. Come to think about it, this seems like something that would happen when we were in college. Which means the guy is not only socially retarded—he’s 19.

  5. Word is Dave at work has a crap load of guns (he works for the CIA you know) – I say you get one of those before you open the door. Also, make sure you have a video camera running…chances are he will pee his pants.

    Or, Eric and I can come over and deliver an atomic wedgie.

    Either way.

  6. Um, scary.

    I vote… don’t open the door. But maybe slip a very nice note UNDER the door that says something along the lines of….

    Freak. I have a gun, and a phone to call 911, and big scary dog (that’s silent) that will rip you to shreds. Go back home to your mama.

  7. Yeah, so James and I should start writing our posts together since we are sitting right next to each other!

  8. Freak. I have a gun. Go back home to your mama. Love it.

    I just talked to D and he had a pretty great idea for a fourth option: “Leave him a note with the URL to this blog on it. He’ll get the idea when he reads this post.”

    Although the atomic wedgie is appealing, too.

  9. I was going to suggest having D open the door, but that might not be very practical.

    I guess you could tell him you’re married to the sea.

  10. Yes, I’d love for D to be here to open the door. But in lieu of that, telling him I’m married to the sea sounds pretty kickass.

  11. You should let him kidnap you and then get married in California. Very Romantic!

  12. Ha—Colorado, not California. Which is convenient since we both already live there. What an asshole.

  13. Francisco seems to be a common name for stalkers… Stalkers are a creepy, and unfortunately, very thick skinned bunch. I’d say leave a reply on a note he has written, clearly telling him to stay away from you and your door. Is there a manager of the building to file a complaint with? I bet the guy has a record of creepy behavior. Also get yourself a taser…

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