I Can Has Roach Trap?

Remember the gross roach situation? I figured I needed to take the situation into my own hands and buy some roach traps since I can’t go spraying Raid around the house. (If you recall, since I adopted her, Ella has set herself on fire, eaten silica packaging and lapped up Drano. Which I realize makes me look like a bad pet owner, but I’m telling you, she gets into EVERYTHING.)

I digress.

So I took an excursion to Target this morning in search of such traps. I was so grossed out by them that I lost my inner monologue and said, “Oh, God,” aloud as I dropped them into my cart, catching the attention of a mother and her toddler.

Sure I’m grossed out that I even have to buy them, but it’s the way in which they work that sent me over the edge. From the box:

1. Roaches enter bait station and eat the bait.

2. Roaches take the bait back to the nest.

3. Roaches share the bait, killing others and destroying the nest.

UM, are you telling me I have to invite roaches in to my apartment to get rid of them?

That is messed up. Do you know how dirty and diseased those things are? But alas, I had to buy the stupid things because that’s all there was aside from the fogs and sprays. I told myself I’d put them where I couldn’t see ’em and just fugget about it.

So, I came home with my disgusting roach traps cabanas and opened the box to spread them around my apartment. And. They. Smell. Like sweetly rotting food. And hordes of them are going to come from their vile nest to feast in my apartment.

Man up, Megan. Do it and you’ll never see one again. You could single-handedly save the building from cockroach infestation.

So I put them around. A handful in behind and above the fridge, in cupboards, under the TV, behind my bathroom door…

Within minutes Ella had successfully retrieved two of them from the kitchen and was pawing furiously at them. I yelled, sprayed her with water, distracted her with treats and toys…but she wants to eat the poison.

I threw away about half of the traps I originally put out. Either the roaches go or Ella does; I guess she wins. But who are we kidding. It’s going to be me that tears out my eyeballs if the bug situation doesn’t cease to exist.

7 responses to “I Can Has Roach Trap?

  1. ew. ew. and, ew. and… ew again. um, I think you should move out. Or, call a professional to come treat the place. That may be the only way to safely do it with miss Ella Bean around. And the landlord or owner of the property should be responsible for the costs. I’m getting itchy just thinking about this.

  2. (I itched the entire time I wrote this post.)

    The building is apparently well-aware of the problem. A week before I saw the first roach they delivered notes to all the tenants outlining their plan of attack on them (and the mice).

    Nonetheless, I’m pretty miffed that my land lady left out the mention of mice (until the day I moved in) and bugs. She has about 3 cans or roach Raid under the sink, so they’re apparently not a new problem.

    And for real—I can’t wait to move out. 45 more days!

  3. Ever thought of just putting a laser on Ella’s head and setting her loose on those little bastards? They’d be toast in no time. Or at least cat poo.

  4. Haha. I like the laser idea. Unfortunately Ella enjoys killing bugs that fly. Roaches can’t fly, right? Oh, cripes. Can roaches fly?

  5. Oh damn, you bring back some BaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaD memories, come to think of it, exactly a year ago. It’s that time of year again, and the roach motels are selling out! Try to think positively…you could live in Oklahoma?!?!

  6. Dude, they’re so vile. Did you guys have them in the new house? (And holy crap, has it already been a year?!

    I have to admit, the fact that the roach motels are selling out makes me feel a little less alone in this. Also, I haven’t seen one in over a week. Probably just jinxed that, didn’t I.

  7. Pingback: Le Grand Update « Expo86: Think.Write.Now

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