From the Mouths of Babes

In case you’ve ever wondered what your run-of-the-mill third grade charter school kid is up to here in the  nation’s capital, penning lengthy lists about “Types of Bitches” appears to be one of them.

The list is simultaneously horrifying, hilarious and encouraging.

Horrifying:

  • No one should really be talking like this, least of all elementary school kids. (See the most horrifying #33, which I can’t bring myself to type.)
  • Kids shouldn’t have to grow up knowing about drug dealing, pregnancy and/or getting left by their baby daddy.

Hilarious:

  • Fright aside…it’s hard not to crack a smile at some of these (see #3, “dusty ass bitches,” #10, “bitches be tryin’ to steal your man,” and #42, “bitches who think they get money”)

Encouraging:

  • The spelling and penmanship aren’t too shoddy
  • The vocabulary is rather impressive (“triflin'”, “conceited” and “instigating” all make the list of bitches)
  • The importance placed on creativity (see #85, “uncreative bitches”)
  • Hygiene seems to be valued (see #82-84)
  • Writing about sex, drug dealing and mugging might have kept them from engaging in these activities…at least on the day that it was written

What kind of bitch am I? From this list I’d say, a cross between #2, #40 (definitely a shoe-wearing, talking bitch) and #89. Mos def.

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