Why Parents Shouldn’t Get Divorced

D: I feel about you like you felt about me after I got robbed.
M: How is that?
D: Like I’m waiting for it to hit you and for you to get upset.
M: (to self) Come to think of it, my mom having a possible boyfriend is kind of like getting robbed. OF MY SANITY AND FREEDOM ONCE I GO DATELINE ON THIS GUY AND STRANGLE HIM.

It’s OK to laugh about this stuff, you guys, I promise.

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